It's almost February 14th and you know what that means: VD is right around the corner. So I'm sure you're planning a romantic Valentine's Day dinner for your "special someone." Awwww. :)
UNRELATED FACTOID: I love this holiday because it reminds me of the 5th Grade when Miriam Lipschitz (yes, pronounced "LIP shits") nervously asked me, "Buzzy, would you be my Valentine?"
Of course, I completely panicked! Did this mean I had to kiss her? Or worse, would I have to go to FIRST BASE with her (whatever that meant-but I heard about it and suspected it could get her pregnant and being a mother at 9 just seemed wrong to me).
So I said, "Uh, well, Miriam, can I think about it?" That took the blush off the rose so I didn't have to worry about her again, but I still remember her fondly. Besides, truth be told, I secretly wanted either Tab Hunter (woof!) or Mousketeer Annette Funicello as my dream date Valentine. But neither called. :(
ANOTHER UNRELATED FACTOID: Ralph Lauren's real last name is actually Lipschitz too. Not kidding. But wait...OMG!.... I wonder if Miriam was related to Ralph which means I could've married her, become a filthy rich Lipschitz and pretended I belonged to the most restricted WASP country clubs just like Ralph and his POLO models do??? WAAAHHHHHH!!!!
But back to the big upcoming romantic dinner: If you're like me, you're wondering what to make for that killer dessert. The one your sweetheart will never forget.
I have the perfect answer: how about a yummy terra cotta Valentine (pronounced "TER uh COT duh"), drizzled with lots of sweet raspberry coulis (pronounced "COOL lee"). Talk about amuse-bouche!!! Pronounced "ahm mooz BOOSH." Trust me, it'll make for an unforgettable evening.
Uh, hang on a second.....lemme think here....um, TERRA COTTA IS THE SAME AS PANNA COTTA, RIGHT?
Well, that depends. If your Valentine is stoned out of his mind-then yes, terra cotta and panna cotta are exactly the same. They both taste like chicken. Buzz's disclaimer on controlled substances: just say no to drugs and spend that money on antiques.
This is important because if your sweetheart is NOT smoking "Valentine weed" (or whatever they call it these days...somebody told me "420" (!?). But I may have just asked for the time-I can't remember I was so out of it....), anyhow if the bf/gf is sober, then the answer is NO, terra cotta is nothing like panna cotta! Here's a pair of late 19th c. terra cotta urns from C. Mariani Antiques, Restoration & Custom:
Would you eat them? Of course not! It's criminal to destroy a perfectly good antique. Duh.
Anyhow, Panna Cotta is a rich dessert that comes from a Jello mold--and it's SO easy to make! In fact, you can prepare it in advance if guests are coming to admire your collection of terra cotta.
Terra Cotta, on the other hand, is just mud that comes from the earth. Well, technically it's a reddish clay used for statues, totems and other objet d'art.
WELL KNOWN FACTOID: Terra cotta doesn't work as a dessert because it tastes gritty, clogs your colon and makes you extremely gassy. In other words, it's an acquired taste.
So now you know. Have a ROMANTIC Valentines Day.